Yorkshire Writers' Lunch

dead as a doornail bonnet up poke around inside but what for I know nothing about car engines kick the tyres in mock frustration close the bonnet lock up and start walking snow is thickening but I’m dressed for it boots a parka with a decent hood just the problem of trying to keep the snow out of my eyes when the wind gusts full in the face whisky bottle party-entry fee safe in an inside pocket what a year company folded redundancy payout don’t make me laugh only enough to keep me in booze and cigs for a month and Liz left soon afterwards not that I can blame her wasn’t in a good place dip your bloody lights why do they always ignore pedestrians probably because we’re pedestrian no need to bother about you mate back into sudden blackness there’s something nice about the walk now warming up crunch crunch underfoot, snowballs nicely rounded between leather gloves dispatched into darkness Eve might be there it’s possible maybe not likely but possible I keep thi...

It wasn't so late but it was late for Christmas Eve.             He had to go. There were festive chores to finalise, a car to de-ice before trundling home.             He rose from the sofa. She did too.             "It was lovely seeing you," he said.             Her green eyes gleamed in the twinkly Christmas tree lights. "You too."             "Thanks again. For the jumper."             A simple design: red with holly decoration at the collar, cuffs and hem and two large bells on the chest.             He raised his hands trying not to draw attention to the length of the sleeves. She ...

This was first written in 2014 whilst working out in Yangon, Myanmar. I had never shared a house with a stranger before nor a dog.   John was originally from Hertfordshire but had been working for the British Council in Myanmar for 10 years. His dog Li slept with him and was a fine example of man’s best friend. So here I was house sharing with a dog lover. The property had a huge gate and wire fencing all around. We had been relocated here due to a flood in the previous accommodation.  I am standing behind as we look at the muddy water Li and I are heading downstairs I had noticed that Li was well fed by the domestic help and was not taken for walks. John left early for work and returned in the evening.   At this new house the big gate had a gap and the dog had tried repeatedly to squeeze himself under it. One Saturday I observed him really excited as he communicated through the bars, with a dog who was on the other side of the gate, Li tried to wrigg...

There were noises   coming from the house. Loud, manic laughter and pulsing music. The sort that could get on your nerves if you weren’t in the right mood. And she wasn’t. She walked towards the building at a slow pace, each step dragging her in. There were flashing lights. She hated flashing lights; they made her eyes go funny. A car shot past, screeching to a halt. Two men got out but didn’t see her, standing in the dark as she was. They rang the doorbell and were greeted enthusiastically, Music spilled out, some sort of dance music, she supposed. Not her sort of thing at all. She was too old for that sort of nonsense. The door slammed shut and peace was relatively restored. The level of irritation and annoyance swelled inside her, and she could no longer stay still. The house was calling to her and she quietly let herself in through the unlocked door. Everyone appeared to be in the room to the left, so she made her way over to the right. The kitchen was a place of ...

It’s happened before of course, but never at this time of year and unfortunately, in his elder years, he doesn’t seem to have the intelligence or compassion to even try and hide it. Something has to be done. Take this morning for example, it’s the Tuesday before Christmas and because of the holidays her routine has changed, so of course his has too. He’s agitated and doesn’t know what to do with himself, claiming he had a ‘headache’ and that’s why he got up early. He’s written a letter to his brother, fiddled with his phone and is now pretending to read the paper. When he thinks I can’t see, he stretches up, uncurling the folds in his neck, meerkat-like to survey the field and path to the woods that we overlook from the dining room window. I follow his gaze, the path is empty, I can almost feel the disappointment seeping from his fingertips as he drums the table. He’s been sat there all day, waiting, watching. I tut to myself and return to the lunch dishes. What an old...

Most of us have heard of National Novel Writing Month, but how many have actually tried it? The first time I did it, I was writing on my own – didn’t belong to any groups – so I just got my head down and went for it. I had the sense to try a fantasy, which wasn’t really my ‘thing’ but I’ve found it’s certainly the easiest way to reach that target of 50,000 words in 30 days. This year I’ve done a second novel to follow on from my first ‘turn-of-the-century (nineteenth) detective novel. Lots of encouragement to put it all together, but difficult to sustain over 30 days because of the minor detail of historical accuracy and the need for continual research. In one chapter, my heroine went into town on half-day closing. Except that as soon as I typed it, I realised that half-day closing didn’t become general until the 1912 law was passed – my book is set in 1899. Think again! This time round I do belong to writing groups and others in those groups are also tackling NaNoWriMo. We sup...

It was on his fiftieth birthday that Frank’s mother began to haunt him. Which seemed a coincidence as it had been on her fiftieth birthday that she had died. Frank had just undressed and got into bed. Which is the truth but doesn’t really portray the way in which he’d ripped his clothes off and leaped on the naked girl who was the latest in a long line of similar ladies who had been attracted to his bed by a combination of his money and his…well, just his money, to be honest. She screamed and sat up, shivering with fright. Not from Frank’s actions, though they had somewhat startled her, but from his mother’s ghostly appearance by the window. And Frank found her arrival a little disconcerting too. “Mother!” “Hello, Frank.” The girl gasped. “Is that your mother?” “I’m afraid it appears to be, yes.” “But she’s a…” “Well, she would be. She’s been dead quite a few years.” The girl screamed again, scrambled out of bed and, gathering her clothes, while avoiding going near ...

The sound of the last cannon echoes into infinity and dies. War is over. ‘Peace is declared,’ they have said. The guns at the front, they are still. But this song in my head has a drumbeat to kill. I am consumed, not by peace, but by dread. Politicians congratulate themselves. Negotiators sign, unwind and recede into the shadows. ‘Peace is declared,’ they have said. The guns at the front, they are still. But this song in my head has a drumbeat to kill. It runs through my days like a thread. The world grows bright, breathes sighs of relief. Normal lives, for some, are resumed. ‘Peace is declared,’ they have said. The guns at the front, they are still. But this song in my head has a drumbeat to kill. I yearn for some calm times ahead. The loss is weighed on balance sheets, in lives. But the ultimate price is unknown. ‘Peace is declared,’ they have said. The guns at the front, they are still. But this song...

            Linda needed help getting the guy out the back of her Landrover.             "Grab the head," she told me, "I've got the feet."             The Guy Fawkes effigy was still wrapped up in an old bed sheet except for the black papier-mâché hat. It fell off and I caught a glimpse inside the sheet. I turned back to Linda.             "I thought you were joking!"             Linda ran the local chippy. It was a small place in an especially dull corner of the village. The most excitement that had happened recently was the massive order of wooden forks that had come through in early October.             Linda set the delivery men straight...