THE DISAPPEARANCE: Part Two. ‘Jim’ by Andrew Shephard

Every time my mind races ahead I pinch myself hard. Stay calm, Jimmy Boy, stay calm. The important thing is to act normal, do nothing unusual. They know that in the films, but then they do something stupid that gives them away.

She rang me, Ellie did. She’s never rung me before. That’s how good she is at hiding her feelings. I was half way down the High Street on my morning trip to look at the runners and riders in Ladbrokes. Ellie said she needed to talk to me.

“Sure, Babe. Talk away.” I bobbed into a coffee shop and mouthed espresso to the barista. My heart was thumping. It was the call I’d been waiting for.

“It’s Steven. I’m worried sick, Jim. Have you seen him?” She really did sound worried. She didn’t even bother to tell me not to call her Babe.

“Seen him? When d’you mean?”

“I mean he left for work yesterday morning and hasn’t been home. I told the police and they asked if I’d checked with all his friends.” She sounded really stressed. The police; was that a warning?

“Hold on, I need to pay for the coffee.” I needed a minute to work out the right answer. Had I seen Steve? Did she want me to say I’d seen him?

“No. I waited for him in the Head of Steam last night but he didn’t show.”

“Is he in trouble, Jim? You must tell me. Does he owe someone money?” I had to stifle a laugh. Owe money? I was the one who owed Steve money. He was always helping me out, like a good old friend should.

“Jim, promise me. I mean this. If he contacts you let me know, right away. You must.”

“I will, I promise. You know I will. I’d do anything for you.”

I’d do anything for you. Was that giving too much away? What if the police were actually listening? Be cool, Jimmy Boy. I think she started to cry.

“Don’t worry, love. He’s probably got some business to attend to. He’ll turn up in a day or two. I’ll ask around if anyone’s seen him. Are you all right on your own with the kids? Do you want me to come round?”

“No, Jim. I’m fine. I just want to know where he is.”

I took my coffee outside and rolled a cigarette. I wondered how long I’d have to wait before it wouldn’t look suspicious. A month? Six months? I’d already been waiting two years. Two years of hiding our feelings for each other. Two years of hanging around with Steve so I would have an excuse to see Ellie every few days. She played her part, never betraying the buzz we both felt when we were in the same room. She even blamed me for Steve’s gambling and I went along with it, persuading Steve to lend me money so I had another reason to go round to their house.

Another six months of waiting would be hard. I will leave it to Ellie. She seems to have handled everything good enough up to now. She’ll give me a sign. How will she let me know it’s time? A kiss, as long and full on as all those kisses I’ve imagined? Or will she fall sobbing with relief into my arms? Or will it be that smouldering look she gave me the first time we met? I had just moved back into town and bumped into Steve when he was coming out of the station. He invited me home for a meal and to catch up on the last five years. It was late, and we were talking about people Ellie didn’t know.  She yawned, said she was going to bed, and smiled over her shoulder at me as she was climbing the stairs. A look that said it all.