Twenty Hand-crafted Xmas Cards by Owen Townend

- This year I'm making my own Christmas cards.

- Good for you! Not fully making them though?

- Yes, fully making. I do have the materials, Angela. I'm going to give it a whirl.

- Don't take this the wrong way, Harold, but I think you might just be a little mad.

- Pish-posh! I know what I'm doing. I'm a craftsman.

- You make jewellery and sell it at market.

- Well then. Cards should be a doddle by comparison.

- All right, maybe. What sort of card will you use?

- Green. Thick. Possibly red.

- But not so thick that you can't cut it?

- Of course not. Dozy mare.

- What designs will you cut?

- Intricate. Christmas tree. Maybe mistletoe or holly.

- Really? That'll be a very prickly card. You won't get much more than 'Merry Xmas' on it.

- So? The name of the recipient will be on the envelope.

- That envelope should probably be made of some sturdy paper or else the card will cut it to ribbons.

- Oh, shush.

- And what about decoration?

- Bits of tinsel probably.

- The envelope will have to be quite wide as well then. Sorry, dear.

- How about some actual holly then? Just a sprig, mind.

- That would definitely get squished in transit.

- Fabrics then. A little red felt flap to open on the inside? Does that suit madam?

- That might work. It'd have to be a very thin piece of fabric though.

- Obviously.

- How are you for glue?

- Oh, I have plenty of adhesive. For all kinds of material.

- A glue stick should do it. My Maddy did something similar last week, in class.

- They've got her onto that sort of thing already?

- Yes. Christmas begins on the first of December at her school.

- Oh.

- I could ask her for tips if you like.

- Funny, Angela. Very funny.

- Well, it's a bit of a laugh.

- Not when I need to get twenty out in a week.

- That many?

- Give or take.

- You're not thinking of taking my name off that list, are you?

- Well, if I’m honest…

- Ooh. You are cruel, you are.

- I suppose I have my moments.

- Twenty hand-crafted Christmas cards.

- Yes.

- Twenty cards, Harold. You're definitely mad.

- Well, I do have to be something when I'm not cruel. Apparently.

- Mark won't help you?

- Can't. He's at the town hall. Rehearsals started on the weekend.

- What's he this time?

- The Angel Gabriel.

- Typical.

- Yes. He’s been tooting his own horn all bloody week.

- And you haven't?

- Right. That's you off the list.

- Whatever makes things easier...