Lion Tamer and Other Interesting Jobs by Dave Rigby

 

Jen is a lion tamer,

Or to be more accurate, she used to be.

Or to be even more accurate she was a lion whisperer.

No need for compulsion with Jen.

She’d talk them into doing the necessary,

Like roar, or jump onto a lion-stand (or whatever they’re called).

The circusgoers loved it and called out for more.

Jen did it for years, until one of the lions whispered back

And told her they weren’t right keen on this performing lark and how about getting back to their homeland?

She packed it all in the next day and went on safari with the lions,

Back to their homeland.

 

Reg is a scrap merchant,

Or to be more accurate, he’s now a materials recycler.

No greenwashing for him,

He does it all by the green book.

His yard is too big to be called a yard.

He calls it his operational zone.

Likes his words, does Reg.

Big heaps of ferrous metal

And one of them magnet things,

To attract the genuine article.

Lots of non-ferrous as well,

An equal opportunities recycler.

Mountains of tyres, radial and crossply.

He imagines himself back as a ten year old

With his mates,

Tyre-rolling races all day.

And, of course, there’s a fire.

There has to be a fire,

Not a big one, just enough of a blaze

For permitted items only,

To assist with the tidying up.

And round his neck on a gold chain

He wears his Recycler of the Year gold medal,

 

Pete is a DJ,

Or to be more accurate, he’s a turntable operator.

Over the years, he’s moved from vinyl, to CDs, to downloads …

And back to vinyl.

To create his personally-curated playlists (not that he’d ever use such a phrase)

He flicks through boxes of albums

And boxes of singles

To find exactly the right track

To maintain the flow

Or build to a peak.

Or up the BPM

Just to showcase the wildest floor moves.

If punters ask him when he’s going to retire,

He looks at them and says loudly,

Why would I want to do anything other than this?

 

Debs runs a bookshop,

There are shelves everywhere,

And each time you visit, you find a new one.

It’s warm, you can sit down and even have a drink,

Whilst you browse and make a decision about

Exactly which of the many books on your list

You’re actually going to buy.

And at five, on the first Tuesday of each month

The poetry group sits round the table.

Debs, Pete, Reg and Jen (back from lionland)

Take it in turns to read their latest verses.

Then it’s discussion time where they hum and haw

Over the exact meaning of certain words,

Occasionally coming out with poetry-type phrases, such as metrical feet

(Which must be difficult to walk on)

And stressed syllables,

(Which must find it hard to relax.)

But mainly, the four people with interesting jobs

Are just happy to be spending time

Playing with words.