‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (No 1 North Pole) - A 2024 Poetry Challenge by Judy Mitchell

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,

Nothing was stirring not even Santa Claus.

He’d drunk all the brandy and eaten the crisps,

Then fallen downstairs, entirely pissed.

The reindeer were restless as time hurtled by

More parcels to carry on their sleigh in the sky.

‘What shall we do?’ said Donner and Blitzen.

‘He’s out for the count,’ replied Dasher and Vixen.

'It’s all down to us, chaps,' said Rudolph the Wise,

'We must not leave children with tears in their eyes.'

So they loaded the presents with help from the elves,

Mission accomplished: hurray! They were proud of themselves.

They flew down the chimneys and circled the earth,

Returning to the Pole on the day of His birth.

Santa was shamed, the deer gave him hell,

He held his sore head and felt rather unwell.

Disaster averted, the secret was kept,

Children’s presents delivered while they safely slept.

But what of the drunkard who’d caused all that shame?

He went into rehab but was never the same.

"Drunk Santa" by Le Yéti is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0.