AI Journeys by Dave Rigby

 

Hi, I’m Alex, here to give you the story of my latest journey … as it unfolds. If you’ve followed me before, you’ll be used to my style. Laid back, a little laconic as befits a seasoned traveller, plenty of humour. If you’re a newbie … welcome!

To start painting the picture for you, I’m on a ship which set sail from Narvik on the west coast of Norway. As it happens, I’ve been to Narvik once before. This was in 1968 when I arrived by train from Kiruna in northern Sweden, famous for its iron ore mining. Back then, I went immediately south, to Bergen, to catch a ferry to Newcastle.

On this trip I’ll be travelling north and then east, enroute for Kirkenes which is on the Norwegian / Russian border. Unknown territory for me! And probably most of the other passengers.

It’s described in the brochure as an Arctic Immersion journey, (AI for short) but I’m hoping we won’t experience that literally! And there’ll be another AI dimension to the trip, more of which in a moment. Now, let me describe the ship.

OK, this feels like a good moment to introduce myself. I’m sure you don’t want too many of Alex’s comments at this stage. Better to hear something from me.

I’m Ziggy, a digital operative skilled in taking writers on AI journeys. Alex asked me to assist in writing an account of his journey to the far north of Europe. All I’ll need from him is a few key facts and a bit of description and I can then weave my magic. This will save him from struggling with what to say. And we can avoid too much reflection on what went on in the 1960s!

So, before we get more of the Norwegian story, let me tell you about our data farm one of a chain run by the Company. Our centre is humungous. You’ve probably heard claims that we use a lot of water. Well, being located on the shores of a lake, we have absolutely no shortage of water to keep us all cool. (And we are cool!)

And as for the leccy, (I’m scoring big points here for human vernacular, or HV as we term it), we have our very own nuclear power station. So, we’re not draining the local grid. What’s not to like?

We’re committed to doing things fast. Real fast. Nanoseconds fast. Alex has really no idea. Normally I wouldn’t have responded to his small-scale request for assistance, but the Company’s Chief Synapse, as we call him, instructed me to get on with it. Something to do with ‘mighty oaks.’

This kind of job is a breeze (more HV points) for a digital operative, as we have the ability to keep multiple conceptual plates spinning simultaneously. What an image!

Ah! Alex wants to come in again with more news from the North.

This Arctic Immersion journey is shaping up well. The ship’s big, but not too big, there are three meals a day and a lot of fjords. We’ve docked at Tromso. I’ve been walking around the harbour area, which is great. Lots of boats (of course!) a big bridge and some fine buildings. I just popped my head round the door of a quaint local bar, but retreated quickly when I found out that a glass of beer would cost the best part of a week’s pay!

(I think this may be an example of human humour by exaggeration, but these things are sometimes difficult to spot.)

I won’t be sampling the local ale at that price, particularly given that all drinks on the boat are free, courtesy of my all-inclusive package.

I’m now back at the boat studying the dinner menu. Some mouth-watering choices, meat, veggie and vegan. Hmm. This could take some time.

This feels like a good opportunity for me to tell you more about the work I do. Luckily, the world seems to have gone mad for AI, so we’re busy, busy, busy. While I can turn my hand to any kind of writing, (not that I actually have a hand), my specialism is holiday writing. Such a big demand. Everyone thinks they can be a travel writer these days. To give you an idea …

That’s quite enough from you Ziggy. We don’t need you and your digital cronies hoovering up all the stuff we humans have written and then reformatting our words and recycling them back to us.  

Where has this interruption come from? Apologies. Now, where was I? Oh, no! Another interruption. But as this one’s from Alex, I need to respond.

In the end I went for the steak, which was absolutely mouth-watering. A couple of glasses of red, a pavlova and then the cheese board. Coffee to follow, to be taken on deck amidst the harbour lights. Are you getting all this Ziggy? And when will I start to see your creative contribution? Ziggy?

The AI bubble will burst.

Oh no! We’ve been hacked. This has the fingerprints of a properwriters collective all over it. Them and their twentieth century ideas standing in the way of progress! Our anti-hackers seem to be struggling to cope with this attack. What’s that Alex?

I’ve just received a message, which says: ‘Keep your own voice. Don’t give in to a machine!’ Where’s this come from?

I’ve really no idea. Just ignore it.

I’m not sure I can ignore it.

Yes, you can. Just focus. I’ll send through the first part of my creative contribution now. You’re going to love it!

Alex?

Alex?? 

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