Yorkshire Writers' Lunch

The Top 21 Beware Friday 14 th Sail the eight seas The 1813 Overture The 1923 Committee 21:21 vision Vivaldi’s Five Seasons When I’m 65 The Magnificent Eight The Two Rangers Dial 1000 for emergencies The Holy Quartet 78 Sunset Strip Guinealand T-t-t-Twenty Sweet Seventeen 4.14159 Fellini’s 9 1/2 Always look after number two Absolute one The seven wives of Henry 1X Working 25/7

Changing flights at JFK airport in New York from London on route to Kingston Jamaica is not my favourite thing to do, but Delta and Virgin airlines have a relationship and had a super deal with Premium seats, so the inconvenience of an eight-hour layover 6 th to 7 th of June 2019, seemed worth it. I had it all figured out in my head that I would spend the night asleep in the lounge, but when I got there I was invited to look around and thought that for $70 there wasn’t that much on offer. The buffet looked tired, and people were lounging around on comfy chairs fair enough, but that was not what I was expecting to see. I had fantasised about little cubicles where I could really lay out and snore.   It was now close to midnight  and my departure was at 7am. I realised that my phone had lost power and I didn’t have a charger on me with the correct electrical plug as that was all snug in my suitcase. Eventually, I found the parade of airport shops which were all closed apart fro...

The Wonderful Wedding by Vivien Teasdale Wayne was a werewolf with wonderful ways Who dreamed a daring dream one day. As he stood in the shower, soaping his skin He thought how thoroughly taut and thin Were his cheeks and chops and charming chin But, longing for lean and lithe-looking limbs, He jauntily joined Johnny’s Junior gym. Here huffing and hoisting, he heaved and hopped And swore to sustain this sweating, and shopped For carbs and calories in dinner and cake. Then with plentiful proteins packing his plate And arousing his appetite, amply he ate. By devouring this diet, our doughty disciple Soon ruffled his rivals with rhomboids that rippled. Then one day Wendy walked in for a workout. The gentlemen gaped, soon beginning to growl. Such preening and pouting, and powerful pumping Of iron, but ignoring their ill-judged insulting She shook off their shameless, saucy saluting Merely marking it down as unmanly madness Or boisterous beha...

Earth spheres swelling, shrouded in darkness, sensing new warmth, hearing the whispers. Faintly at first then beginning to call. Needing to grow, to cast off the clods, not daring to breathe. Follow the sounds, words on the breeze resounding within. Slowly emerging from winter repose, the whispers of springtime beckon the brave. The first to appear. in shy revelation. And, confidence growing, ‘midst burgeoning green, displaying their treasures, each bud becomes bloom. The whispering fades. Spring’s song is beginning.

In his youth he whirled by, a passing blur, always on to the next thing, ‘No time’ his favourite phrase. Always first in the 100 yards. First in the dinner queue, first to finish eating, first for seconds. First out of the exam room door, though never first in exam results. First to spend all his pocket money, first to ask Dad for more, Not that he got any more. But in old age William has slowed down. He stands by the pond for ages, counting the ducks, Refusing to feed them because, you know, bread’s not good for them. He walks slowly down to the shop to buy his Mirror, Drinks his coffee standing up at the tea bar, slow sip by slow sip. Ambles his way round the park, Retired greyhound, Frank, longing for a bit of youthful speed. Takes an age on the crossword, Cryptically questioning his answer to every teasing clue, Before finally filling each square with the appropriate pencilled letter. Plays his thirty three and a third records, through the long win...

They sat around the table, poised, as if to see who was brave enough, who would take the first sip. Richard audibly swallowed, Gwendolynn coughed, Arthur flinched. There was an art in waiting and it seemed like they were all keen to be the victor of it. A chill wind blew through the ramparts and William shivered. He knew that he should be king by right and that none of these so-called contenders had any right to the throne, unlike him, the nephew of reigning monarch, Edward. Edward, who too, sat at the table, ailing fast, willing the victor to have courage and take a sip from the gold etched chalice in the centre of the table.   The chalice filled with wine so sweet that it made angels weep, or so Gwendolynn claimed, though William was certain it was poisoned. Edward was meant to have procured and poured the sweet wine himself into the vessel but as he was so ill, he entrusted Gwendolynn to perform the task, a task that she was happy to fulfill. “Now it is time,” Gwendo...

Maisie met Phil again after 40 years at the Rosebud grammar school reunion dinner in Coventry, they danced and flirted for most of the evening. Phil had aged well, he was on the athletics team at school, and had obviously kept that up, but Maisie had not liked him while they were at school together. He confessed that picking on her from time to time was the only way that she would have taken any notice of him. Maisie had rolled her eyes at that comment. Teenaged Maisie had turned young boys’ heads and had the girls gossiping about her even when she was asleep.   Middle age was a turning point for many, and Phil having said that he was now separated sounded plausible, after all Maisie was a divorcee. No surprise when she had received a call from Phil a month later, telling her that he was in London and wanting to take her out to dinner. He had told her that he travelled to London quite frequently from his base in Madrid. Maisie has a fear of flying and was fascinated by anyone...