The Wonderful Wedding by Vivien Teasdale

The Wonderful Wedding by Vivien Teasdale

Wayne was a werewolf with wonderful ways

Who dreamed a daring dream one day.

As he stood in the shower, soaping his skin

He thought how thoroughly taut and thin

Were his cheeks and chops and charming chin

But, longing for lean and lithe-looking limbs,

He jauntily joined Johnny’s Junior gym.

Here huffing and hoisting, he heaved and hopped

And swore to sustain this sweating, and shopped

For carbs and calories in dinner and cake.

Then with plentiful proteins packing his plate

And arousing his appetite, amply he ate.

By devouring this diet, our doughty disciple

Soon ruffled his rivals with rhomboids that rippled.

Then one day Wendy walked in for a workout.

The gentlemen gaped, soon beginning to growl.

Such preening and pouting, and powerful pumping

Of iron, but ignoring their ill-judged insulting

She shook off their shameless, saucy saluting

Merely marking it down as unmanly madness

Or boisterous behaviour, or boldness or badness.

She took to the treadmill, the towers and the Trainer

Who welcomed her warmly. Of course it was Wayne.

Soon all was smiles and slim sultry silhouettes

They babbled of banns and, by bridesmaids beset,

The couple then crowed their encounter was kismet.

Love's lateness near left them both in the lurch

So the chaps and chapesses chased them to church

Escorting them easily, they entered the east door

But growling and grumbling, and greedy for gore

They howled and hurrahed, with hunger and happiness.

They yowled with yearning as yells of 'yes, yes'

Arose from the altar. The answers were awesome, as

Bridegroom and bride boldly barked back

at the preacher who led their peculiar pack.

Then they all danced deliriously,

singing quite seriously sometimes, you know,

as werewolves will do at their weddings.

But that is a secret, so whisper it low.