The Butterfly Brooch

Danny said let’s go out tonight, but

I didn’t want to.  My best dress was getting
Shabby and the holes in the bottom
Of my shoes would show when we jived
Together.

He pleaded and said are you still
Sullking about your Mam’s butterfly brooch?
Pride got the better of me.  I would never
Let him know that I crossed the road on
Lake Street now, so as not to see it in the
Pawnbroker’s window.

My hand shook when I handed it over
To Mr Levenstein and he had to
Uncurl my fingers one by one to
Releash my grip.  His licked his lips and
I wanted to be sick.

Danny said it was just 'til he got
Paid what he was owed and then
I could get it back. Another week and the
Landlord would throw us out, was that what I
Wanted?  No, I said, but I vowed silently that
I'd never let it go again.

There's a little left over, Danny said, so

Let's have a night of dancing and
Forget our troubles, shall we?
I wanted him to swing me around and
Remember what it felt like
To be young and carefree. 

She saw me coming in and
Turned away, doing that
Fake laugh with her cronies
That says Look at me! I’m so pretty
And popular and so much better than you.

Belinda James had always been the
Queen Bee around here.  Mam used to say she
Was pure evil and wasn’t her mother
Just the same?  I tried not to notice her
New, lemon-yellow dress and freshly-
Starched petticoats.

Danny got me a lager shandy and I drank
It far too fast.  I could see something glinting
In the mirror behind the bar and I turned to see
Her there before me, her bosom in my face
And my butterfly brooch nestled in her cleavage.      

I ripped it from her dress with such
Might that the satin tore right down the
Middle and she fell backwards in slow motion
Onto the sticky floor, her brassiere’s stiff peaks
Pointing to the ceiling,
Exposed for all to see.

I gasped.
The music stopped. A hush
Came over the dance hall. A hundred faces watched
Us, waiting.

And then the clapping started.  Quiet at first, then
It rippled around the room, gathering momentum. 
No one helped her up.  She screamed at her cronies
And they turned away.  She tried to get up and she
Slipped on the beer-drenched floor.

Then the laughter started
And the jeers and stamping.
Her face burned a deep crimson.  She stumbled
To her feet and fled, firing swear words at us that we
Didn't know she knew.

The band struck up.  I pinned on my butterfly brooch and
Danny swung me around and
Threw me up in the air,
Just as he did when
We were young and carefree.