Fit for Purpose by Vivien Teasdale

I’m nearly there, I’m making it.  I managed to keep it up for 49.5 seconds last week.  I tell you twice a night, three times a week is finally paying off.  My wife says she’s never known anyone like me. 

So I told her, ‘I just need to keep practising’ and suggested making it four nights a week.  She was a bit dubious at first but after a couple of days thinking about it, she agreed.  She even went and bought me a new, soft tape measure so I could really keep tabs on my performance – it does get a bit awkward with that metal thing I used to use. I kept pressing the retract button when I got a bit excited and that’s painful, I can tell you.

I was a bit disappointed with my mate, Jack, though.  He was the one got me started on this regime in the first place. 

‘It’s amazing,’ he used to say, ‘you’ll feel so much better for it’. 

And so I began, just once a week at first, just for something a bit different.  All the measuring and checking was a bit distracting and my performance wasn’t what I expected, but then Millie suggested another night might be helpful and it was. I noticed a big difference and so did she. We really began to see some progress.  So, with her support and encouragement, I added a third night.

Trouble is, I think Jack’s got a bit jealous and he’s even admitted he’s gone off his form lately. I do feel sorry for him but if he wants to succeed, as I’ve done, he needs to commit himself.

So here I am Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and now Thursday too, each week down at the gym, weighing in, measuring my muscle size and recording weights lifted.  My graph is going sky high and I’m even thinking of going on some weekend courses. Might even train as an instructor. Millie thinks it’s great I’ve got such a worthwhile hobby now. 

Pity about Jack though.  Even when he dropped out of the other days, he used to come in on a Thursday, then we’d go down the pub. Now he’s even stopped that.  Prefers walking, he says, but I think he’s just jealous of my progress. No wonder his wife thinks he’s having an affair.