Reasons to Be Tearful by Ian F White

REASONS TO BE TEARFUL.

(Read to the tune of “Reasons To Be Cheerful...” by Ian Dury & The Blockheads.)

Measles, Mumps, Rubella,

Split up with your fella,

Locked up in the cellar,

song sung blue.

Been taken for a ride,

We’ve got nowhere to hide,

Mother of the bride,

Can't be true.

Hannibal on the loose,

too few kangaroo’s,

Just run out of booze,

Balance Due.

Country is in deep debt,

Cat needs to see a vet,

Plug sockets are all wet,

A day to rue.

Car's got a flat tyre,

Billy's not a liar,

Daddy's not my sire,

Tea's gone cold

Russians in the Ukraine,

Lion without a mane,

Lex's kidnapped Lois Lane

Brass aint bold.

Gone to meet his maker,

Street without a baker,

Used up all my data,

Tale untold.

They've all gone and left me,

Beaten up by Bruce Lee,

Sad and melancholy,

My body's old.