Monday 24 June 2019

The Way It Is by Chris Lloyd (a look at life from another angle)

The Way It Is.

A hot tin roof with a cat asleep on it
A plumber saying “it’s easy this bit”
A banker saying “we don’t talk shit”
A miner giving Maggie Thatcher a bit
Andy Pipkin saying, “I like it.”
You won’t hear of any of these.

Cameras getting your speed wrong
Politicians singing the same song
Summer sun that is three months long
Christmas number one’s that don’t drone on
A Eurovision song that’s not too long.
All things that will never happen.

Asking a cop with a taser to think twice
Asking a drunk for drinking advice
Telling your cat not to kill mice
Not seeing MP’s involved in vice
Thinking Lidl sells that special spice.
Dream on.

Thinking your dog won’t jump in a river
Hoping you can actually touch liver
Reading Steven King without a shiver
Having chocolate but eating a sliver
Hearing someone say hither and thither.
All impossible (almost)

Selling a car for what you think it’s worth
Not getting squeamish at your first child’s birth
Buying bit coins to increase your net worth
Staying at your in-laws and being full of mirth
Not liking that actor, what’s his name Firth.
Ninety nine percent not happening.

Looking all day for a four leaf clover
Knowing someone who’s called Ben Dover
Giving your garage a massive makeover
Trying to climb the white cliffs of Dover
Having fond memories of Austin Rover.
Unlikely at best.

Being vegetarian, going to a meat fest
Arguing that the sun rises in the West
Lighting a fart to make a girl impressed
Loving the posh guy who says “I speak in jest”
Going to a gig wearing a string vest.
Nope not at all.

A bookie giving a sure tip for a bet
Thinking you could own a Lear jet
Smoking a very healthy cigarette
A Geordie who never says hello pet
A day in Whitby finding loads of Jet.
You’ll be lucky.

©Christopher Lloyd

3 comments:

  1. Nice one, Chris. Great idea followed through with verve and humour.

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  2. Love it, Chris. Funny and original. Hope Colin Firth isn't the 10% we don't like! Might have to have words on that one!

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  3. Well done, Chris! I believe I heard part of this last Friday at Doris' Poetry Group.

    Fool that I am, I expected more Bruce Hornsby and The Range. Nevertheless some excellent 'bitey poetry' here!

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