The Way It Is by Chris Lloyd (a look at life from another angle)

The Way It Is.

A hot tin roof with a cat asleep on it

A plumber saying “it’s easy this bit”

A banker saying “we don’t talk shit”

A miner giving Maggie Thatcher a bit

Andy Pipkin saying, “I like it.”

You won’t hear of any of these.

Cameras getting your speed wrong

Politicians singing the same song

Summer sun that is three months long
Christmas number one’s that don’t drone on

A Eurovision song that’s not too long.

All things that will never happen.

Asking a cop with a taser to think twice

Asking a drunk for drinking advice

Telling your cat not to kill mice

Not seeing MP’s involved in vice

Thinking Lidl sells that special spice.

Dream on.

Thinking your dog won’t jump in a river

Hoping you can actually touch liver

Reading Steven King without a shiver

Having chocolate but eating a sliver

Hearing someone say hither and thither.

All impossible (almost)

Selling a car for what you think it’s worth

Not getting squeamish at your first child’s birth

Buying bit coins to increase your net worth

Staying at your in-laws and being full of mirth

Not liking that actor, what’s his name Firth.

Ninety nine percent not happening.

Looking all day for a four leaf clover

Knowing someone who’s called Ben Dover

Giving your garage a massive makeover

Trying to climb the white cliffs of Dover

Having fond memories of Austin Rover.

Unlikely at best.

Being vegetarian, going to a meat fest

Arguing that the sun rises in the West

Lighting a fart to make a girl impressed

Loving the posh guy who says “I speak in jest”

Going to a gig wearing a string vest.

Nope not at all.

A bookie giving a sure tip for a bet
Thinking you could own a Lear jet
Smoking a very healthy cigarette

A Geordie who never says hello pet
A day in Whitby finding loads of Jet.
You’ll be lucky.

©Christopher Lloyd