Bye, My Darling by Karen Kaye


Trigger Warning: Death & Grief


I cared for you darling till life ran out.

I held you, your last breath was in my arms.

I asked you to come back to me, not to leave.

Though all in vain, you were taken from me.


You slipped away without saying a word

Quietly and in the moment, unexpectedly.

We could not have known it was the day

The angels would come and steal you away.


Without warning or drama, just peace and calm

I placed your head into my arms.

It was already too late to save you,

Just to hold you was all I could do.


As tears overwhelmed, my eyes were full,

Knowing I'd lost you forever and this is all.

Your eyes will open no more to see me again.

All we had and shared had come to an end.


A final goodbye, the end of life.

I walk on alone but on which path?

Becoming lost in a world, sinking deep,

While all I have left are the memories I keep.


Precious and treasured within my heart,

Safely keeping for the rest of time.

A wandering soul drowning in tears,

Flooding into my world, fuelling my fears.


My lover, my friend, my protector and guide.

So much snatched from my fullness of life.

Morning and night, I say to a photograph

I miss you, do anything to have you back.


but death is final and you exist no more,

I walk alone through an open door,

One step forward, two steps back,

Bemused, not knowing I'm on the right track.


Time slips by, as I adjust my life.

Tea for one and no reason to smile.

Silently now, in what was once our home,

Just somewhere to dwell now and be alone.


The depth of my world fallen right through,

Everything lost. It was all in you.

Pick up the pieces. Oh, where to begin?

How do I even start to carry on living?


A pointless mountain I don't want to climb,

Sometimes I wish it was me that died.

But I must, go on for the people who care

A reason to stay, to prevent their tears.


Deflated and empty, feeling nothing at all.

The total of my feelings have all now gone.

It’s the hardest and deepest loss of all

When your darling soulmate has been called.


Lost in a time warp, a place I want to be

Somewhere I once knew with him and me.

Somehow I need to break free from the past

And the loneliness of my sinking heart.


Stepping out of my bubble, make a new life

Not one that I know but I don't have the choice.

On the table, cards of life are already dealt

Events have occurred to our detriment.


His wish for me, unconsumed by grief

I wish for the same but so hard to achieve.

So for him and for me I move on from tears

For whatever I have left, however many years.


There must be a way and maybe some day

Happy thoughts return and I’m able to say,

The gut wrenching hurt, dullness of pain 

Sufficiently subsided be content again.


Return to the person I once used to be 

The woman that attracted him to me,

Full of life and promise, better life ahead,

Optimistic, laugh again, free as a bird.


I pray in darkness this could be mine.

Real love is all, yet brutally unkind. 

When love is taken, leaving an empty shell

Of a person who was once so full.


This is what love can ultimately do

A passion of fire to be defused.

Tomorrow may not come, one day for us all

I am thankful I have loved and been loved.


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"Empty Bed" by Sabina Panayotova is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Comments

  1. This was so beautiful. Brought me to tears. Susie xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Must have been hard to write. Well done and thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete

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