Elf Trouble by Holly Berry (aka Clair Wright)

Jane was starting to wish she had never given in to the Elf on the Shelf.

   Emily had started her campaign in September. “You want an elf, don’t you Thomas?” she asked her little brother.

  “What does it do?”
  “It watches you, and it tells Santa if you’ve been good,” said Emily.

   Thomas looked doubtful. “And it’s funny! It does lots of really fun things!” said Emily. “Everyone else had one last year.” She looked reproachfully at Jane.

   It was true. Jane’s Facebook feed had been full of cute, clever photos of little red elves getting up to “mischief” in the homes of other school mums. It all looked like a lot of effort.

   By the end of November,  Jane had been worn down. If the elf could get the kids to do their chores, then it was worth a try.  

   On the first day of December, she played it safe with the elf sitting in a plant pot, watching over the dinner table.

   “I don’t like him watching me,” pronounced Thomas, as he tried to hide his broccoli stalks under his fork.

   “He’s cute!’ said Emily. “You’ll just have to be good, won’t you?”  She finished off her peas. “I wonder what he’ll be up to tomorrow?”

   Jane was quite proud of her efforts in the first week. On Monday,  the elf was writing his tiny Christmas cards, on Tuesday, he was cleaning his teeth (to promote good oral hygiene).   On Wednesday, he was revising his spellings (it might be Christmas but education is still important). On Friday, he was tangled in the fairy lights, to show his fun side. Thomas was still not convinced.

   “Does he really report back to Santa?” he asked Emily, keeping a close eye on the elf as he set the table.

   “Oh yes,” said Emily. “He goes back to the North Pole every night, doesn’t he Mum?”

   “That’s right!” nodded Jane.  “Don’t forget the coasters.” She was starting to like this elf thing.

   On Saturday, the elf was tidying the Lego. On Sunday, he was pairing socks. Thomas rolled his eyes. “This elf is such a goody-goody!” he said.

   “He’s setting a good example!” said Jane. “You don’t want him to tell Santa to put you on the naughty list.”

   On Monday, Jane woke at six with a start. She had forgotten to move the elf! She pulled on her dressing down and ran downstairs. 

   The elf was no longer sitting on the paired socks in the corner of the kitchen.  She rummaged amongst the clean laundry, but the elf wasn’t there. Jane hurried into the living room, listening for sounds of the children waking.

   There was the elf, lying on top the bookcase. He had made a perfect snow angel in the film of dust. Jane gave him a quick shake and flicked off the dust with her sleeve.  She propped the elf between the books (to promote reading).

   “Why is the elf all dusty?” asked Emily.         
   “No idea!” replied Jane. “Go and tidy your rooms!” Thomas scowled and slouched upstairs.

   On Monday evening, Jane remembered the elf. She wasn’t going to get caught out again. But the bookcase was empty – the elf was gone.

    This time, she found him in the pantry, peering out of the empty biscuit tin. Jane had finished the last hobnob while the children did their homework.  She brushed crumbs off his red suit. “I’m allowed a hobnob!” she retorted as the elf frowned at her.  Jane popped the elf in the fruit bowl (to encourage health eating) and went to bed.

   On Tuesday morning, Thomas rubbed his eyes over the breakfast table. “Where’s that elf?” he asked, warily.  

   Jane glanced at the fruit bowl, sitting on the kitchen table. The elf wasn’t there.

   “He’s there!” shouted Thomas, jumping out of his chair.  He pointed to the oven.

   Through the grease-spotted glass, Jane could indeed see a little red figure, staring accusingly at her. “What’s he doing in the oven?” Emily pulled open the oven door. She snatched up the elf. “Look at him! He’s filthy!”

   Jane peered into the oven, which was indeed overdue a clean.  Thomas looked anxious. “Are you on the naughty list now, mum?

   She held out her hand to Emily. “Give that Elf to me,” she said. “I’ll take care of him.” She glowered at the smug expression on his grubby face. 

   Jane had a feeling the elf would be delayed on his trip to the North Pole tonight. Very delayed indeed.