Monday 15 June 2020

You, Today by Anna Kingston

You, Today

“How much again?” you ask me, pen poised.
“£10.20,” I say distracted by noise.
“What’s the date, did you say?”, still sounding like you.
“10th of May, I believe.” It’s me who’s confused.

You ask me the figures and date yet again
Not even writing the cheque, and then
I really do look, and see you anew - 
You’re definitely altered - are you still you?

The woman we loved, and thought that we knew 
Is slowly dissolving, like smoke up a flue:
Miniscule changes: the outside’s the same
But now you’ve forgotten your own grandson’s name.

Your smile doesn’t change, nor your deep love of cake;
But these changes are cruel, they make my heart ache
For the mum I remember, who taught me to cook,
Who taught me there’s nothing so good as a book.

Close my heart to the past, my eyes to next week,
I’m with you today. I won’t try to seek
The mum I remember, the woman I knew:
We’re together today and, for now, you’re still you.

13 comments:

  1. After losing a grandmother to dementia, this really resonated and touched my heart, Anna.

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    1. Thank you, Jo, so glad you like it. We lost my grandma, and my mum (poem's about mum), to mixed dementia, and my uncle has just gone into a care home with mixed as well xx

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  2. Having lost three uncles to dementia, and my father became 'wanderley' before he died, the hardest thing is them not just forgetting who you are but who they are too. Very poignant poem, brought tears to my eyes. Vivien

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    1. Oh that's so hard, Vivien, so sorry to hear that! Rubbish and awful, isn't it? Even though it's my work, it makes me feel a bit choked up, how weird is that, that your own writing can 'get' to you?! x

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  3. Hi anna, this made me smile. Such lovely words and a lovely reminder of your mum. My grandma had alzheimers and it's so hard to see them slowly disappear from the person they were! X

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    1. Apologies, its tracy moorhouse, Kim's mum xx

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    2. Hi Tracy, thank you, and I'm glad it made you smile! This disease is very cruel, but there are bittersweet memories, and little windows of sunshine amidst the increasing darkness. :) xx

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  4. A very touching poem about a heart-rending subject. Thank you, Anna.

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    1. Thank you, Owen, it can be a hard subject to write about, can't it?

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  5. I love this poem. It reaches out across a minefield of comprehension. It brings a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing such a personal and tender recollection.

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    1. Thanks, Charlotte, hope you weren't too tearful x

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  6. I was very touched by this, so tender and so real for many of us with relatives who have succumbed. [I spent a few days trying to use the comments so glad that finally..... I had to change my google settings].

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  7. Thanks, Yvonne, glad you managed to get to grips with the comments! Even though my mum's been gone 4 years, some memories feel very fresh don't they? x

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